It Is Not What We Say. Guide To Better Communication
As an Executive Director member of the John Maxwell Team, I have the privilege and opportunity to share and teach the wisdom of John C Maxwell to organizations and businesses to help them grow toward better leadership skills, selling skills, and communication skills. There is always more to learn to help us be the best that we can be and have more successful organizations and companies. One of my favorite teaching opportunities with the John Maxwell Team is based on John’s book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What The Most Effective People Do Differently. Below is a favorite excerpt from that book that paints a clearer picture of how communication can be better understood and improved.
“Amazingly, more than 90 percent of the impression we often convey has nothing to do with what we actually say. So if you believe communication is all about words, you’re totally missing the boat, and you will always have a hard time connecting with others.
…So what’s the solution? Howard Hendricks, who has been a long-distance mentor to me for many years, says that all communication has three essential components: the intellectual, the emotional, and the volitional. In other words, when we try to communicate, we must include:
More than 90 percent of the impression we often convey has nothing to do with what we actually say.
Thought: something we know
Emotion: something we feel
Action: something we do
I believe those three components are essential to connect with others as well. Fair to include any one of the three and there will be a disconnection from people and a breakdown in communication. More specifically, here’s how I think the breakdown would occur. If I try to communicate:
- Something I know but do not feel, my communication is dispassionate.
- Something I know but do not do, my communication is theoretical.
- Something I feel but do not know, my communication is unfounded.
- Something I feel but do not do, my communication is hypocritical.
- Something I do but do not know, my communication is presumptuous.
- Something I do but do not feel, my communication is mechanical.
When components are missing, the result for me as a communicator is exhaustion. However, when I include all three components–thought, emotion, and action–my communication has conviction, passion, and credibility. The result is connection. I believe you can achieve the same result when you include all three.”
To learn more about how this teaching can benefit your organization, please call Bart Nollenberger at 480-327-8751, or send me an email here.