In John Maxwell’s book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, easily one of my favorite laws is the Law of the Mirror. John says, “The value we place on ourselves is usually the value others place on us,” and in this we expect others to approve of us, give us our self-esteem, and that power is only ours to manage. John suggests some steps to build your self-image.
- Guard your self-talk
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Move beyond your limiting beliefs
- Add value to others
- Do the right thing, even if it’s the hard thing
- Practice a small discipline daily in a specific area of your life
- Celebrate small victories
- Embrace a positive vision for your life based on what you value
- Practice the one-word strategy
- Take responsibility for your life
Here are some thoughts that John shares about applying the Law of the Mirror to your life.
- Make a list of your best personal qualities. If you have positive self-esteem, then this will probably be easy for you. If you don’t, it may be a struggle. Don’t give up. If needed, spend days or weeks creating the list. Don’t stop until you have written a hundred positive things about yourself.
If it took you a long time to create this list, then you need to spend time every day reading through it to remind yourself of your value. Remember, if you do not value yourself, you will have a very difficult time adding value to yourself.
Using the list as a springboard, decide on the one word that best describes you. Make this word your North Star as you begin adding value to yourself.
- Few things impact a person’s self-esteem more than the way they talk to themselves on a day-to-day basis. Are you aware of how you talk to yourself? Keep track by using your smartphone or carrying an index card so you can tally the number of times each day this week that you think something positive or negative about yourself. In addition, you can ask close friends or family members to tell you whether they think you see yourself in a favorable or unfavorable light.
- If you want to feel valuable, add value to others. How much time every day and every week do you spend focusing on others and adding value to them? Do you serve others through a volunteer organization? Do you mentor people? Do you give assistance to others less fortunate than yourself?
If you aren’t doing so already, find a way to serve and add value to others on a weekly basis. Do something that utilizes your strengths, benefits others, and makes you feel good about yourself. Start small. If you’re already serving, then do more. It’s a good rule of thumb to give a tenth of your time to serving and adding value to others. So, for example, if you work forty hours a week, devote four hours to serving others.
Want to change? Need to change? Years ago, I was introduced to the 4 Rules For Change. They are, one, we must see the need. Number two, we must see the changes that we need to make. Number three, we must be willing. And, number four, we must be the change agent.
What is it that you must change?
I want to offer you something that has been a game-changer for me, a MasterMind group on how to grow and change and have more joy and accomplishment in your life rather than pain and disappointment. This MasterMind group is based on John C Maxwell’s powerful book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.
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or, call me at 480-327-8751 and let’s talk.